My cat Zoey is bad Ass

So it is 3:25 in the morning on a Sunday, I am sitting here waiting for my iphone to update and finish syncing.
I hear a buzzing I look up........there is a stinking crane fly buzzing right above my desk.  Ugh I hate anything that flies.  They scare the bejeezus out of me.  But I try to be chill.  "Karen it is just a crane fly they can not hurt you just ignore it.  It can not kill you"
My heart is racing and I am not entirely succeeding in keeping my chill up.  I am seriously in danger of freaking out and screaming like a little girl, which of course would ruin my icee chill rep.

Zoey meanwhile is just sitting in the printer watching.  I keep touching her because I don't want her to jump on the top of the desk and knock stuff over.  I know she is eyeing this crane fly and wants to kill it.

The crane fly decides to fly at a lower altitude and it is buzzing around my desk lamp then it gets stuck behind the speaker.  When it come out it starts getting lower and lower.  Oh My Jesus Mac and Cheese it is like less then six inches from my head.  "stay chill stay chill"

Just as I am about to scream and run for protection.  Zoey all Karate kid style swipes out a paw catches the crane fly and eats it.  Looks at me definitely thinking "there you go this is how I roll you wussy" sits down and meows.

I pet her and think damn my cat is BAD ASS.  Thank god Zoey saved me from a meltdown.  I think she gets extra kitty treats.

Hamster Rock

So, it was last Wednesday night around 9:30 pm and I am making toast.  I was making toast because I have IBS and that late at night I can't eat anything that would upset my tummy, but I digress.  I am making toast and I hear from my room my darling sweet innocent 11 year old daughter scream


"It's over!!!! Erika look up the hamster video on you tube"

Now there are reasons I was concerned.

1. I am friends with a lot of gay men
2. I am friends with disgusting men
3. I have read the raggot the gerbil story
4. My mind lives in the gutter
5. My father was a sailor

So then I go into the living room slightly scared as to the scene I will walk in upon. I am also worried that I will have to lecture children about appropriateness.

What I walked in on was nothing like I had imagined.

My children and husband are watching the new Kia Sol commercial to the tune of Party Rock.  Katie is Dancing Erika and Coley are Laughing "mama they're shuffling" and my wonderful husband looks at me and says "I'm gonna be a Hamster for Halloween" (see above number 1-5 for all the gay jokes that went through my head).

This just goes to show there is something seriously wrong with me.  Because one it was Coley and Coley is kind of a prude.  Two no one but me went to the gutter.

I would like to say though this story has spawned a new term at work for me and my friend Adian.  I just have to look at him and say "hamster porn" and we both smile and our day gets easier.

So in conclusion I have issues, but everyone loves me anyways.